You know that thing where you write a letter to someone you are angry at and then put it in a drawer and forget about it? Well this is kind of like that, but instead of putting it in a drawer I put it on the internet so the person I hate can actually read it.
Angry Letter Number One-
Dear English Teacher,
In case you have not noticed, you repeat everything you say. It frustrates me and makes me not want to write my essays. I recorded the first minute of class so you can understand what you sound like, but I don’t know how to put sound on a blog so I will write it for you:
“Class has officially begun. Class has officially begun. I want to give you back your essays so you can revise them. So you can revise them. You all did pretty well but I noticed some of you need to add detail. You can revise it and the grade you get on your revision will replace your old grade. Replace your old grade. Claire, put your phone away. Put your phone away. Put your phone…away.”
Do you have a disease? If you do you should tell me. I don’t like to be angry at people that have diseases. Also I don’t like that you gave me a B minus on my essay. You claim it does not have a thesis and I use too much colloquialism (whatever the fuck that is), but I thought it explained perfectly my apathy for essay writing. On a side note,I hate that you drink the nasty flavor of vitamin water. I hate that you make me read stupid short stories about mortgage loans and why old people hate Facebook. I hate that you are afraid of saying stupid and say “oopid” instead. I think it’s gross when you call your husband “Big Daddy.”
BUT I do like that you play movies when you get bored of teaching.
Love,
claire.
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