Angry Letters

Dear shitty friends,

I hate that you make plans with me and then bail three hours before. I hate that every time I call you to hang out you are “eating lunch with mom” or “visiting grandma.” And I hate that you are FUCKING RETARDED. So FUCK YOU, shitty friends. Even though I will come crawling back to you like a sweet dog to an abusive owner, right now I FUCKING HATE YOU.

Also, when I call you to tell you that I am about to “go take a bath,” that means “I AM ABOUT TO HAVE A MANIC DEPRESSIVE ATTACK SO GET THE FUCK OVER HERE.” If you weren't such shitty friends, you would know that.

Did I ever tell you, shitty friends, that the thing that annoys me most in the world is when people flake out on plans? BECAUSE YOU DO THAT 99.999999999% OF THE TIME.

I love you, shitty friends, most of the time. But today I FUCKING HATE YOU.

What? You don’t understand? Ok let me say that again.

I FUCKING HATE YOU.

So this is for you, shitty friends.