Interesting Facts

Essays suck balls and are incredibly uninteresting. To get you through the process I have devised a list of interesting facts that you can refer to whilst slowly dying of ennui. For those of you that don’t know what “ennui” means, look it up. Or not. It means Ebola. JUST KIDDING. It means boredom. You should use it in your essay. Even if it doesn’t make sense. Just do it.  



Anyways...let's begin.

Interesting fact number one:

There are mites that live on your eyelashes.

Those sons of bitches are chomping away on your follicles and you don’t even know it. It's fucking gross.

Interesting fact number two:

A whale’s penis is called a dork.

I don’t know why I decided to include this fact, but it says “penis” so I figured it would get your attention. Also, it made me say “HAH!” (but on the inside)

Fact number 3!!!!

All porcupines float in water.

This is pretty much a useless fact of science unless you are stuck on an island.  Knowing this, you can find your way home on a boat made of porcupines.

Fact number 4

If you bring a raccoon's head to the Henniker, New Hampshire town hall, you are entitled to receive $.10 from the town.

I am too lazy to draw a picture of this. Just imagine a councilman paying a man one dollar in return for 10 racoon heads on a stake.

Interseting fact number 5:D

  Mosquitoes have teeth.

      

NUMBER 6:

 Only 55% of all Americans know that the sun is a star.

If you do not know that the sun is a star, I am sorry to inform you that you are a total dumbass. Also, what does that say about the American education system? (<---you should write an essay about it. But then you would end up back at this website. It’s a never ending cycle!)

And finally:

Unicorns are real