Well, it is the new year, 2012! Here are some noteworthy resolutions I have heard so far:
“My new year’s resolution is to be the best wife and mother I can be!” –some lady on the news
Ok first of all, this should not be a new year’s resolution. This statement is equivalent to something like “This year I’m going to try not to be a douchebag!” Do you get what I’m saying? This is more like a personal rule of life, not something you just decide when you’ve been married for 15 years and your kid is starting his freshman year of high school…
“My resolution is the same as it was last year! I did not eat a single french fry for 365 days and I plan to do the same thing this year!” –Dad
I interjected at this point.
Me: Dad, you ate Chick-fil-a waffle fries last week
Dad: Yeah, those are WAFFLE fries. I said FRENCH fries.
He was not kidding.
And this, my friends, is why Americans are so god damn fat.
“I will work out six days a week for the entire year!”-pretty much everybody I know
Day 1:
Day 2:
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