Friends

I was really lonely the other night, and in a drunken stupor of sadness I created some friends.

This is Chase.

Chase is a rabbit. Chase was self-conscious about his abnormally large, fluffy tail. I told chase that peacocks have big tails, and the ones with the best tails get lots of sex. He liked that. But then he asked me why his arms are so weird. 

I promptly replied, “Chase, you silly rabbit! Your arms are totally normal!”

I did not have the heart to tell him that they are actually boobs.

This is Miles.

Miles is really good at math, but it doesn’t matter because he is an elephant.

This is Ann.

Ann was raised on the border with a bunch of Mexican pack mules and now she thinks she is one.

So I just play along.







This is Robert.

Robert is a huge dick and nobody likes him....I like him, though. There is something about his grumpy cynicism and tiny arms that appeals to me. You know, deep down inside his little, pixelated heart there is some good.

And lastly is Bubbles.

My friends and I don’t know what Bubbles is exactly…

My guess is the offspring of a Ron Weasly and a puppy.

He/She is super cute, though.