Black Skinny Jeans

Normal jeans suck. I feel like an old, fat blob when I wear normal jeans, but as I have to abide by certain social standards that do not allow me to wear the same jeans/same type of jeans consecutive days in a row, I am forced to feel like an old, fat blob at least once a week.

Below depicts what I feel like when I wear normal jeans:

(not that these people are old, fat blobs or anything, because that is mean and I am not mean)

But when I wear skinny jeans, I feel like this ---> :D

Skinny jeans make we want to do crazy things, like bungee jump and sky dive and dance like a spaz. I think skinny jeans make me funnier too, as I usually wear skinny jeans when I preform super funny stand-up comedy for the President of the United States.

JUST KIDDING.

I wear a pant-suit when I preform stand-up comedy for the President of the United States.

Below depicts what I feel like when I wear skinny jeans:

And HOT DAMN, when I wear my black skinny jeans I feel like a smoking-hot, bad-ass motha fucka/ninja/super kick-ass spy.

When I put on those black skinny jeans, I wanna go blow shit up and walk away in slow motion. My black skinny jeans make me feel like doing this:

Yes. This exactly.

Black skinny jeans make me wanna steal some powerful weapons and makeout with my hottie boyfriend.

They make me wanna kick some ass...

And that is why everyone needs a pair of black skinny jeans.

*P.S. (THIS IS SUPER EXCITING: i made it so that you don't have to have a google account to post comments...yay :D so i expect you to now leave comments) (not mean comments) (or I will send psycho cat after you)