The essay writing process

This is how I write my essays.

Prompt: Write an essay comparing the positives and negatives of congress

I start with the introduction:

The United States Congress is the bicameral legislature of the federal government of the United States, consisting of the Senate and the House of Repre.nsafkn.sfkjq;owimregq;/wd,mfa/s;dlkjmallmdsn flmansdfnsdlmfnlaksdjfn.smd f;laksjdnf.as,mdng;ald mf’;lkjg v’;sfg’sc;kmfgls;kfdmg I don’t give a fuck.

(At this point I take a break to look at funny pictures of cats...for example--->)

I usually forget about the essay.

I then come back six weeks later (usually the night before the essay is due) and make myself do it. And by make myself do it I mean I sit down at my computer and convince myself that if I don't finish the essay in exactly sixty minutes then clowns with hack saws and Ebola grenades will burst through the door. I start a timer.

I always finish on time.